This is a picture of a special tray that my lovely friend brought to us after the birth of our second little dude. I have saved this for almost two years now because of the incredible thought and care it represents - down to the little notes attached with cute washi tape, and the pretty flowers. No worries... this is not the standard to which all of you are to be held! This friend was walking her own infertility journey, and yet her heart and time were free enough to bless us in this way.
When time is in abundance, it can be quite a treasure to put together or receive a from-scratch home cooked meal and thoughtful touches. If this is your gift - be inspired by this photo!
While her gesture touched me in particular, mainly due to the fact that I knew her heart was hurting over her own empty arms, I must stress that every friend who stopped with any kind of sustenance in those first few weeks was a beacon of light and hope to our tired and overwhelmed souls! From Chickfila takeout, to prepped Trader Joe's entrees and salads, what was most important was the effort that was made and the fact that we didn't have to cook for a meal period.
I have asked my mama friends what the biggest help is when they are stressed and overwhelmed, and one of the top things they have listed is meals. Food is one of the few things that literally can't be knocked off the priority list even when we are in crisis mode without severe consequences. (Especially if you, like me, tend to get hangry!)
Websites like Take Them a Meal, and Meal Train have made it easier than ever to organize dinners for families who need it; but it can seem like willing and ready-to-sign-up participants can be harder to find in the nutty season of mommyhood. I know what it's like to already feel the stress of meal planning, shopping, and cooking for my own family - and not knowing how to commit to do the same for someone else...
Fact: Meals are one of the very BEST ways to support a loved one.
Fact: We want to support our loved ones in the most practical, needed ways.
So, let's strategize!
Think through your own abilities, where you are willing to sacrifice a bit (because often times that's what real love calls for), and what your reasonable boundaries are - and check out these tips:
- First off, if you are feeling stressed about your schedule and when you have the time (or can make the time) to get a meal to someone, pick a day and date that will relieve that stress as much as possible. For example, if a meal calendar includes a weekend day when I know that my husband will be home to watch the kiddos while I cook or even be available to deliver the food for me, that's the first day that I will sign up for. Don't be afraid of signing up for a date that is farther away either, even if no one has taken the soonest available. People have given those dates farther out for a reason and I can guarantee that they will still be grateful when that time comes.
- Have meals in your freezer that are ready to go!
- Here's a strategy for you: If you find yourself planning a meal for your family that you know will freeze well, make extra. Then, put that extra in a freezer bag (or other storage container), and store it. That way, when a need arises and you are short on time and energy, you've already got something you can give.
- If you've been able to give yourself the time to invest in cooking, and that's something you really love to do, then go for it! If not, consider what options are something that you know you can follow through with:
- Semi-home-cooked. Grab prepped entrees from a local store, and finish the cooking and/or assembling yourself. Salad kits, frozen Chinese and Pasta dishes, etc.
- Fast food. If you don't have time to cook or prep - figure out what some of their favorite take-out options are. Never underestimate the power of fulfilling the chocolate shake and fries craving of an exhausted new mom! Fortunately, there are a lot of restaurants these days that also have very healthy options, and even diet-specific ones as well.
- Whole, pre-cooked chickens - grab one, a salad kit, and a bag of rolls. Or, grab one with a package of tortillas and other ready-to-use taco ingredients. (Or both - I've don't that before so that the family had two or three different meals worth with that one bird!)
- Gift cards!
- A thoughtful card with $$ is not just "better than nothing". This is a gesture that is still meaningful and always something that you can do when your loved one lives outside of where you can reach them by car in a reasonable amount of time. It can also relieve some of the burden/guilt felt by stressed out peeps who don't feel great about spending money on takeout or fast food. (I can attest to that by personal experience - after the break in I was in no condition to cook or meal plan, but felt bad about trying to save money since we had to replace expensive strollers and other items.)
- Keep some local restaurant giftcards on hand, as well as some encouraging greeting cards. (Or even send some directly from Amazon!)
- Don't forget about grocery store giftcards - which is also great if the person you wish to bless lives out-of-state and you don't know what kind of food options are available.
- Be honest! "I've got the kids with me, so let me know what drive-thru sounds good and I will gladly bring you nourishment! I'm sorry I can't cook you something super awesome, or hangout forever without the munchkins causing choas right now, but I love you and want to do something to help." If you can't commit to a home-cooked meal or spending an hour visiting when you drop it off, that's okay! A small, heart-felt, practical gesture speaks volumes over doing nothing because you can't attain higher expectations you've put on yourself. People love to feel that they just AREN'T ALONE. And you can always follow up later with a phone call or text to check in.
- Meal delivery services.
- If you have a little extra cash to spend, or can go in together with a few friends, this is a great option! I know of a friend who lived a couple hours away who arranged for a simple pizza delivery after the birth of a baby.
- Lots of pizza places deliver, but if you're hoping for something different, check to see if their address is part of one of the following companies:
- Door Dash
- Uber Eats
- Yelp Eat24
- GrubHub
- Do a web search for "food delivery services" in your area
- If you've got a heads-up that a friend is going to need meals, (like for a new baby), you can find time to prep some great freezer meals to help them stock up. Here is one site with a few good recipes designed specifically for freezing, or just do a web search for more ideas.
- Check out our Pinterest board where I've included (and will continue to add as I find 'em) some other relevant links for providing meals.
I hope that these tips bring you inspiration! If you have more to add, please comment below. 🙂
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So helpful! Thank you!
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